Post by Echo on Oct 14, 2013 19:18:37 GMT
Another of these one-shots assigned by my creative writing teacher. This one is supposed to be about the Jewish migration to America back around the Holocaust. I've considered making it into a novel, and the idea's still there, so we'll see.
Requirements: One double-spaced page in length only
The air was cold and crisp, and the sun was starting to just peak out above the ocean waves. Alter was already out on the deck of the ship, leaning over the sides to watch the water and the horizon, ready to be the first to call the sight of land. Although this time he wasn’t watching for land. He was staring at the water, troubled over an earlier comment from Will. He’d mentioned his parents, and it made young Alter recall his own. He wished he hadn’t. His mother had died from disease, as had his youngest sister. His father was alive the last time the young Jew saw him, but hardly. “To America,” he’d told him. “You’ll be safe there. I can’t care for you any longer.”
Alter had done what his dad said, but rather than try to find his way legally onto a boat, the scared boy had stowed away on one. That’s where he met Will. Will and the rest of the crew liked the kid well enough, and he brought some life to their dreary voyages, so they let him stay on their trip to America.
Alter squinted at an odd gray mass that had caught his attention, changing how he looked at it until he could finally see the mass for what it was. Freedom. Hope. In many cases, life. He took a deep breath and yelled, “Land ho!”
Will and some of the other crew members came on deck to check it out for themselves. With a deep laugh, Will clasped the boy on the shoulder. “Good job, son. Welcome to your new home.” Alter smiled at the gray mass he had been waiting months to see. It didn’t look like much from here, but it made his eyes shine with tears he wouldn’t shed. Maybe now he could make something of himself, and save his father. If nothing else, at least now he had the hope for a future.
Self-Review: I really didn't enjoy this story and how it was written. I feel like I could have done much better than that. But I'm posting pretty much all of my work here for a reason, so go ahead and review it yourselves.
Requirements: One double-spaced page in length only
The air was cold and crisp, and the sun was starting to just peak out above the ocean waves. Alter was already out on the deck of the ship, leaning over the sides to watch the water and the horizon, ready to be the first to call the sight of land. Although this time he wasn’t watching for land. He was staring at the water, troubled over an earlier comment from Will. He’d mentioned his parents, and it made young Alter recall his own. He wished he hadn’t. His mother had died from disease, as had his youngest sister. His father was alive the last time the young Jew saw him, but hardly. “To America,” he’d told him. “You’ll be safe there. I can’t care for you any longer.”
Alter had done what his dad said, but rather than try to find his way legally onto a boat, the scared boy had stowed away on one. That’s where he met Will. Will and the rest of the crew liked the kid well enough, and he brought some life to their dreary voyages, so they let him stay on their trip to America.
Alter squinted at an odd gray mass that had caught his attention, changing how he looked at it until he could finally see the mass for what it was. Freedom. Hope. In many cases, life. He took a deep breath and yelled, “Land ho!”
Will and some of the other crew members came on deck to check it out for themselves. With a deep laugh, Will clasped the boy on the shoulder. “Good job, son. Welcome to your new home.” Alter smiled at the gray mass he had been waiting months to see. It didn’t look like much from here, but it made his eyes shine with tears he wouldn’t shed. Maybe now he could make something of himself, and save his father. If nothing else, at least now he had the hope for a future.
Self-Review: I really didn't enjoy this story and how it was written. I feel like I could have done much better than that. But I'm posting pretty much all of my work here for a reason, so go ahead and review it yourselves.