Post by Echo on Oct 11, 2013 19:11:36 GMT
(This is one of many short stories I will be uploading from my creative writing course in school. They all have some sort of restriction, and I'll post those too.)
Title: The Hallways (original, right?)
Restrictions: Had to be one page. That was our only restriction. This was also our first assignment.
The halls are quiet. They seem to stretch endlessly in all directions. The flickering light from the ceiling makes the shadows dance around her. The sound of light footsteps are the only thing she can hear. There's another pair of steps behind her. She feels warmed by the presence following her. It’s her only comfort in this dark place. She clutches the bag she carries closer to her, hoping it can somehow shield her from this place. It gives her little relief.
She takes a sharp turn left, into another hall. This one is brighter, but she feels no more at peace than when she was walking with the shadows. Rooms decorate each side of the hall. Their doors are shut, but a warm light shines through the windows, towering over her. Behind her, the presence gently nudges her forward. She keeps walking.
She hasn't understood where she's going, but the warming presence seems to be guiding her. Whenever she's about to miss her turn into a different hall, the faint touch of fingertips brush her shoulder and turn her in the right direction. She wishes she could thank it for helping her. Her tongue feels to heavy to move, though.
Finally, the presence stops her in front of a large oak door. From inside she can hear a loud buzzing. When the presence’s thin fingers reach from behind her and grab the doorknob, the girl freezes. The door opens fully, enveloping her in bright light. She blinks, struggling to adjust as the woman nudges her into the room. The loud buzz cuts off as she enters. Inside stands a tall, smiling woman. She bends down and beams at the girl. “Welcome to class 203,” she says, and the woman places a gentle hand on the girl’s shoulder. “You’re on your own now, dear. Good luck.” her mother says before quietly leaving the class. The little girl grins at the sight of her own: a small army of children taking refuge in this bright room. The teacher directs her to a chair, and she sits down. Suddenly, the school doesn’t feel nearly as dark as before.
Personal Critiques: This is really bad, I know! I'm utterly terrible at one-shots (if my definition of the word is even correct
) I used "she" and "her" way too much here, but I was trying to keep it a little vague. Also, to fit the one-page limit, my paragraphs aren't exactly right.
Feel free to critique this story as you wish! Whether harshly or constructively (of course constructive is preferred ;3). I'll most likely upload anything I do in my creative writing class here.
Title: The Hallways (original, right?)
Restrictions: Had to be one page. That was our only restriction. This was also our first assignment.
The halls are quiet. They seem to stretch endlessly in all directions. The flickering light from the ceiling makes the shadows dance around her. The sound of light footsteps are the only thing she can hear. There's another pair of steps behind her. She feels warmed by the presence following her. It’s her only comfort in this dark place. She clutches the bag she carries closer to her, hoping it can somehow shield her from this place. It gives her little relief.
She takes a sharp turn left, into another hall. This one is brighter, but she feels no more at peace than when she was walking with the shadows. Rooms decorate each side of the hall. Their doors are shut, but a warm light shines through the windows, towering over her. Behind her, the presence gently nudges her forward. She keeps walking.
She hasn't understood where she's going, but the warming presence seems to be guiding her. Whenever she's about to miss her turn into a different hall, the faint touch of fingertips brush her shoulder and turn her in the right direction. She wishes she could thank it for helping her. Her tongue feels to heavy to move, though.
Finally, the presence stops her in front of a large oak door. From inside she can hear a loud buzzing. When the presence’s thin fingers reach from behind her and grab the doorknob, the girl freezes. The door opens fully, enveloping her in bright light. She blinks, struggling to adjust as the woman nudges her into the room. The loud buzz cuts off as she enters. Inside stands a tall, smiling woman. She bends down and beams at the girl. “Welcome to class 203,” she says, and the woman places a gentle hand on the girl’s shoulder. “You’re on your own now, dear. Good luck.” her mother says before quietly leaving the class. The little girl grins at the sight of her own: a small army of children taking refuge in this bright room. The teacher directs her to a chair, and she sits down. Suddenly, the school doesn’t feel nearly as dark as before.
Personal Critiques: This is really bad, I know! I'm utterly terrible at one-shots (if my definition of the word is even correct
) I used "she" and "her" way too much here, but I was trying to keep it a little vague. Also, to fit the one-page limit, my paragraphs aren't exactly right. Feel free to critique this story as you wish! Whether harshly or constructively (of course constructive is preferred ;3). I'll most likely upload anything I do in my creative writing class here.